I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
