I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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