I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
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