im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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