We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
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