I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
