where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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