so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
