Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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