You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
