Pappa wants mamma naked
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Randomize
