Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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