just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize