I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
