Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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