they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
