Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
