I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
