So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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