Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
