I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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