we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
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