went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
