ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
