Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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