I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Randomize
