I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize