love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
We just shotgunned beers for America
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Why is there bacon in the couch?
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
