I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
My feet surprised me
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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