Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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