Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize
