I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I stole a fireplace last night.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
