I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
