omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
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Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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