first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
We were destined to go to rehab together
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
