Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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