Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
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