I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize