thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Randomize
