Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
