DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
