At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
