I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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