Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
