if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
