You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
