so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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