apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
