so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
