I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
