the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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