i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Randomize
