and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
