She went from zero to smokin in five shots
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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