fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
