All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
