And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
