The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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