At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize