What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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