Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
