you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
