You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Terrible idea I love it
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
