Only a mothe r could love this liver
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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