Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
